Shift from drifting to flowing

What's happening when we feel disconnected, adrift, hollow, drained, empty, stuck, or lacking belonging and connection?

This is nuanced and can feel overwhelming in today's social context. Times have changed and keep changing fast. Faster than we’re used to or than we can keep up with. My nervous system feels overloaded sometimes, how does yours feel?

How did you coast this past year? Were you drifting or flowing? Did you drift into a flow? Do you sense the visceral difference between these two verbs?

While reflecting on this, I recognized that authenticity would be a key player in discriminating between these states. Authenticity is present in a place of flowing. It is not present in the drifting. Drifting, in this context, is one-sided. There is no awareness, no conscious engagement. There is no direction and it might feel like floating on the water surface, letting the waves direct your body. For the purpose of this blog, I’m associating drifting with essentially losing yourself. 

I noticed these two states were the extremes of a more nuanced spectrum. From being fully yourself on one end to losing yourself on the other. What's in between? And how do we navigate this in between current and choose to dance with life?

In this context of coaching and individual sovereignty, drifting misses the inner connection to our truth.  It is letting ourselves be carried on the current of life and external circumstances. Drifting may feel like a need sometimes, from being so drained and tired. However, it is a clue for us to look within as we have drifted too far from ourselves, from our bodies and our values. Drifting misses definition. Yet, we need clarity and definition if and when we want to move forward. 

Sometimes, to drift is to be blindly following.  Drifting is floating on the surface of the ocean whereas flowing is swimming in the ocean, merging with the water of life, engaged with all of the sea creatures submerged within. To swim we need to engage our limbs and be present to our movements. So flowing is participating with life. It's a dance. It's a give and take. It's an observation, a pause and a conscious response.

A flow is two-sided. There is an opening and a response. There is a conscious awareness that choices can be made to steer us in a specific direction.  Flowing is embodied, it is grounded and aware.

So how do we navigate and dance between these extremes, because let’s be honest, we’re all human, we’re not perfect and our lives are not linear. We do encounter challenges to evolve and grow. These challenging transitions are essential for us to reevaluate where we stand, what we value, who we want to be and how we want to show up. These transitions are also when this field between drifting and flowing may become more conscious.   

To understand the nuances in between, I dove deeper into discriminating between losing ourselves and releasing ourselves. It might seem subtle but this is where authenticity comes through. Releasing ourselves from something, whether a pattern, a situation or an interaction is a conscious choice. On the outside it can appear as drifting, through the disconnection and the changes rising to support becoming a better version of ourselves. The key difference here though is choice and authenticity. Being present, and making a choice in line with our values and beliefs shows that we are choosing to release ourselves instead of disconnecting, looking away and losing ourselves. Sometimes we need to go through circumstances to grow through them. Growing involves choosing to release ourselves and gaining perspective. Choosing to disconnect and lose ourselves however keeps us stagnant and drifting. How aware are we of this choice?

I recently learned a few words from nature that were pertinent in this current and that spoke clearly to a nuanced flow of releasing ourselves instead of losing ourselves: Fallowing and Tiding.

In agriculture, fallowing is the act of giving rest to the soil so it can rebuild and refertilize itself. It's giving time for breathing and rebuilding. As much as the work might be ‘literally’ happening under the surface, it doesn't mean nothing is happening. Just because we can't physically see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. Some changes and opportunities need these microscopic adjustments to create the domino effect for growth and expansion.

The same goes for tiding. In marine biology, tiding speaks to the adaptation of wildlife and organisms to the rhythm of the tides. Low tide and high tide fluctuations are reflected in a circatidal rhythm (distinct from the 24hr circadian rhythm). So ‘riding the wave’ can save energy and it is an act of efficiency.  Being in tune with timing and factors in our environment can open us up to see ideal times to move forward or times that can serve for preparation instead of pushing against a boulder. Along the ocean coast, the waves give an advantage to those wise enough to acknowledge and work with them instead of against them.

So the symbolic themes I noticed rising from these two words that can be reintegrated into our understanding of this nuanced current between drifting and flowing, are: rest and time.  

How can we consciously choose to rest and observe, or observe and time our actions, so that we remain true to our core values and goals and remain in our integrity and authenticity without losing ourselves?  

Do you sense the distinction between drifting vs resting and timing? This distinction takes time and self-honesty to integrate. So I will end with a quote that can encompass this blog and give us a starting point to align ourselves:

The German poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”